Forgiveness Part 1: Obeying God

When God says the word forgiveness to me, I immediately shout "No!" But God already knows how this is going to work. He just does that thing that parents do sometimes. He stands there, looks at me, and waits. He does it until I get over my disdain for the word, sigh, and ask, "Who is it?"

      When He put this series of posts on my heart I went through the same motions. He kept bringing up verses on forgiveness until I finally caught on that He was trying to tell me something. As you've probably already noticed, forgiveness is a word that makes me cringe. It's uncomfortable. Of course I like to be on the receiving end, but when the time comes for me to forgive, suddenly it doesn't sound so easy. 

      If I could have it my way, I would never talk to the person who hurt me. They'd just stop being a part of my life and that would be the end of it. One of the things God has saved me from, though, is being an avoider. I've learned that avoiding doesn't really solve anything and actually does more harm than good (it breeds insecurities, mistrust, fear, etc.). In my walk, God has led me to be someone who confronts (myself, my situation, and others). I am now someone who works to face my issues and not just let relationships die off. I have become someone who forgives (though, honestly, sometimes it takes me longer to get there than others).
      Jesus told His disciples, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15 NIV). Sometimes we make this verse more complicated than it is. We try to find loopholes but there are none. Holding onto a grudge or harboring unforgiveness drives a wedge between you and God. It becomes a barrier to your relationship with Him. Not only are you disobeying His command, but you are trying (often unintentionally) to take His role as judge. You are arguing against the character and wisdom of God by thinking you know better than Him. 

      Think about it, we treat God as though He just doesn't get it. "But God, you don't understand!" "I know [person's name]! They're just going to..." The truth is God understands much better than we do. He knows that person's heart and thoughts. In fact, He's been hurt by that person far more than we have, yet He is not above forgiving. We are called to live as imitators of Christ, but we act like we're above God. Like our character and integrity are worth protecting more than His.
      We think that not killing, hurting, or trash talking the person who hurt or offended us is good enough. It's not. Luke 6:32 (NLT) says, “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them!” We're called to love even those who haven't acted like they love us. We are called to think differently about that person than we want to. This calls for an intentional shift in our perspective from being owed something. We have to let any debt we think they owe go. 

      How hypocritical of us that we would accept that God forgives us and sacrificed Jesus so that we could live in relationship with Him, yet we are unwilling to sacrifice our comfort, entitlement, and pride to forgive others. This is why unforgiveness takes such a toll on our relationship with God and His attitude toward us. He gave everything to pay off our debt to Him, yet we refuse to clear the debt of someone else who's hurt us. He knows that it goes against our nature, which is why He laid out the consequences in the verse from Matthew that we read earlier. We needed the extra incentive to do what He's called us to. We needed to understand how important forgiveness is to God so we wouldn't just push it aside or brush past it.

      By no means is this simple. I don't want to minimize what you've gone through or how difficult forgiveness is. That's why I am writing a series of four posts on this topic to go through the importance of forgiveness and to bring more clarity to the topic. It won't be exhaustive but my hope is that I can teach you some of the things God has taught me in order to help me grow in this area.