Even If... Part 2: Choose Your Friends Carefully
In this series of posts, I am writing about how we can maintain our faith in God despite our circumstances. Many of us would say we desire to honor God no matter what we may experience in life, but amidst loss, it is difficult to live that out. If we want to have an even if faith, then we need to be intentional about cultivating it before we get to a moment of crisis. In the last post, I wrote about the importance of putting this attitude into practice and not merely waiting to have an even if attitude. As we choose to honor God in the smaller circumstances, it will become easier to choose to honor Him in the more difficult ones.
The second way to cultivate and maintain an even if attitude is to surround yourself with people who stand firm in their faith. As believers, we cannot be passive about who we allow to be in our inner circle. Proverbs 12:26 (NIV) says, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” The word “choose” is a verb; it conveys an action. When it comes to friendships, we need to be proactive. This verse has another important word in it that we shouldn’t just rush past when reading it: “carefully”. To do something carefully means that the person is looking to avoid danger. We have to be aware of the people around us and the affect they have (or may have) on us and others. It is with that kind of information in mind that we must choose our friends.
Like it or not, those closest to us have an influence over us. They affect the way we think, what we believe, how we feel, and our actions. This doesn’t mean we never speak to those who do not reach our standard (because we still need to be a light and help others strive to greater levels of holiness), but it does mean we place appropriate boundaries in those relationships.
Proverbs 13:20 tells us, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” It is easy to see how hanging out with foolish people can get us into trouble. As we hang out more and more with these people, our standards become lower. We get closer to crossing lines we thought we wouldn’t cross as we hang out with people who do not maintain the same standards we do. This is why it is important to keep wise friends closer than foolish friends. Even if you are not swayed by their mindset, hanging out with these people still can have consequences for you.
Have you ever hung out with a hot-tempered friend you had to apologize for? Or have you had to suffer the consequences of a friend’s actions because you were with that person when they did something foolish?
Unlike foolish friends, keeping those who are wise (and faithful to the Lord) close has benefits. These kind of friends can draw you closer to God. We see this in the account we get of four men in the book of Daniel: Hananiah, Mishael, Azariah, and Daniel. These men had been taken captive and brought to Babylon. In this land where God was not worshipped, it would have been easy to stray from Him, but the four young men instead clung more tightly to Him. They remained close to each other and consistently made choices to honor God despite the risks of doing so. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say they drew courage from each other.
These young men were chosen to receive training in order to enter into their captor king’s service. In Daniel 1:8, the Bible tells us that they all resolved not to defile themselves with the king’s food or wine. It was Daniel, however, who asked the chief official for permission to be on a different diet and was persistent in working to persuade him. The Bible doesn’t tell us whether all four of them talked about this decision beforehand or if the other three only decided to do so when Daniel spoke up and volunteered their participation. What we do know is that they all did so in the end and God honored it. I’m sure the king’s food looked appetizing and the other young men in training were talking about how delicious it was, but these four men drew the strength they needed to follow through on their decision from each other.
Later, in Daniel 3:17-18, when the fiery furnace issue arose, Shadrach (Hananiah), Meshach (Mishael), and Abednego (Azariah) decided together to stand for the Lord despite the threat of a painful death. They knew that not worshipping the statue King Nebuchadnezzar set up would lead to them being thrown into a blazing furnace, yet they still chose to only worship God. This decision to honor God had more dire consequences than their other one, but again, they were in it together. It is easier to stand for what you believe when you have others near you (or who inspire you) doing the same.
It is natural to want to preserve your life (whether that means from the threat of death or the threat of losing the job you need to pay your bills). Having those thoughts isn’t wrong, but just because it’s natural doesn’t mean you get a pass in dishonoring God when acting on them. Having an even if attitude when it comes to our faith is difficult. It goes against our sinful nature and our automatic thoughts. There is an internal battle we undertake when we choose to honor God and trust Him no matter what (see Galatians 5:16-17). We of course always have the help that comes from the Holy Spirit, but that is reinforced in our lives by friendships where we are seeking to stand firm for the Lord together. We cannot be passive about choosing friends. It is important that we surround ourselves with people who will inspire, encourage, and will stand for the Lord with us, even if…
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