Where Are Your Blessings Coming From?

“Haman boasted to them about his vast wealth, his many sons, and all the ways the king had honored him and how he had elevated him above the other nobles and officials.” Esther 5:11 NIV

This verse and chapter really got me thinking. Sometimes our blessings don’t come from God, but from the world. The world’s price for these temporary gifts is death, but God wants only to be acknowledged for all He’s done for us and to have a relationship with us. In exchange, He’ll bless us even further with an eternity spent with Him (best deal ever! Why aren’t we all on this? I don’t even see how it’s fair for Him).
       You can just see Haman’s death, throughout Esther. I mean, seriously, are you really going to plot genocide just because one man (Mordecai) refused to bow down to you? It wasn’t even because Mordecai didn’t like him, he just refused to honor someone above God. Not even just that, he wanted to “destroy, kill, and annihilate all the Jews” (Esther 3:13). I can just imagine him on the brink of breathing fire. He basically wanted them all dead but he said it three different ways.This man is petty.
       Then there’s that dream of his. The king asks Haman what he should do for a man he wants to honor and Haman (thinking the king was talking about him) responded, “For the man the king delights to honor, have them bring a royal robe the king has worn and a horse the king has ridden, one with a royal crest placed on its head. Then let the robe and horse be entrusted to one of the king’s most noble princes. Let them robe the man the king delights to honor, and lead him on the horse through the city streets, proclaiming before him, ‘This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor!’” (Esther 6:7-9).
       Does anyone else think that dream is weak?
       He didn’t even ask to keep the robe and horse. He just wanted to be paraded around (and he didn’t even think up an amazing parade).
       For Haman, his name was his life. He wanted to protect his pride. He could never live fully or enjoy his blessings because he always placed himself up against someone else. He couldn’t even be happy he was the only person besides King Xerxes that Queen Esther requested by name to be at a banquet she set up because he was so upset at seeing Mordecai “sitting at the king’s gate” (Esther 5:13). Mordecai wasn’t even inside the gate. He didn’t have the same privilege that Haman had.
       When the world is the one to bless us, we often feel insecure in it. We know how fickle the world is and how quick it is to take away what it has given. So, we try to keep the world happy and impress it at the expense of ourselves. What’s ironic is Haman had everything and nothing at the same time. That’s why he was so desperate to keep what he had (his name, his “honor,” and title). He was devoid of anything else. Everyone that refused to acknowledge his “honor” was his enemy. They needed to be destroyed before others caught on to his insignificance.
       When God gives, though, He gives fully. As long as we remain with Him, we’ll have His gifts for eternity. We can move past weak dreams and concerns because we are living whole lives with an eternal view. There is so much more to life and He wants to show us. He wants to take us on a journey with Him where we will feel, see, and understand things in greater depth and clarity. His love for us isn’t temporal and our worth in His eyes never changes (I can just see Him shaking His head in pain and disappointment when we settle for less).
       So the question is, who’s blessing you? And if the answer isn’t God, why are you settling for less than He can and wants to give you? Why are you losing yourself/letting yourself go for something that won’t last? Do you know who you are anymore, or are you defining yourself by what you have?