Did You Wake Up Too Early?

“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Song of Songs 8:4

People have lost perspective on dating relationships. It’s not about being selfish and getting what you want. Make no mistake, when you date before God’s time or let go of His standards, that’s exactly what you are going after: what YOU want.
       Waiting is difficult. Some might confuse this verse with saying that as soon as they feel like they love someone, they should be able to run into a relationship, but that’s not even close to true. I already talked about how love isn’t a feeling, but a verb. Love isn’t something that comes easily (go back over 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a). It takes a lot of work and growth to love people.
       To have a relationship that will lead to a successful marriage, you really have to set yourself aside. God knows when you are ready, and when you aren’t. You have to trust in His wisdom and love.
       There was a time when I entered a relationship thinking that I was ready, only to realize that when it came to practicing what I knew, it was much more difficult. In retrospect, I’ve found that how I behave in other relationships (familial, friendships, etc.) will be a strong indicator of how I will behave in a dating one.
       Do you only think of yourself in your friendships? Are you more concerned with what you want when it comes to your family?
       You may be a great and selfless girlfriend or boyfriend in the beginning of the relationship, but soon enough your true colors will show. Your default attitude will come out as you grow more comfortable and used to the person you are with.
       What I’ve ultimately come to learn is that you can’t learn to be a good girlfriend or boyfriend, or wife or husband until you learn to be a good servant of the Lord. That’s why it’s important to allow Him to develop you in the season that you’re in and truly seek His direction. He will lead you into the relationship He has planned for you at the right time.
       If you awaken love before its time, it will be like waking up without having had enough sleep. You will perform at a lower level than if you’d had the right amount of sleep. You would get tired sooner (and be quick to give up). You wouldn’t have the right attitude or perspective because you wouldn’t be able to get past how you feel.
       A relationship requires all this and more. There are no breaks or naps in a real relationship. You can’t just walk away when you get tired or frustrated; you have to work through it. The other person has to take precedence.
       If you can’t set yourself aside for the perfect King, how can you expect to do so for a flawed man or woman?