What Real Love Looks Like

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV

God has been teaching me a lot about love. In the process, I have finally come to realize (just last week actually) that I never really knew how to truly love someone.

       Too many people have mistaken love for a feeling and that is why we have a ton of negative examples of relationships today. When you equate love with a feeling, then you are accepting the fact that as soon as that feeling is gone, you no longer have any responsibility or obligation to love or be in a relationship with the person.

       Love is a verb. It is something you do consciously. It is a commitment.

       God does not acknowledge love unless it looks like what we read in the verses above. This is because any other form of love is merely a counterfeit. It is not real.

       The quality of love that most sticks out to me in these verses is that “it is not self-seeking.” There are numerous times where I have been selfish in my relationships; where I forgot to consider what the other person needed and only took and expected instead of gave.

       My track record with love in all of my relationships (familial, romantic, friendships, etc.) can be discouraging in this new process God has me in, but He constantly encourages me. He shows me what I have gotten right and uses that as a foundation to build me up and grow me.

       Today, He showed me that I can love others because I am loved.

       When you love someone, you enable them to show love to others. This is because you have modeled it and have given them love that they can pour onto someone else.

       But, you can love someone fully and truly only when you know His love for you. If you do not, then you will constantly show love with a motive. You will look to others to fill a void/need that you have.

       If you know His love, though, you won’t need anything from anyone else, so it frees you to love without selfish ambition. This does not mean you will never want anything (to be shown you are worthy, valuable, etc.) from anyone else. It just means you can look past your own desire to see theirs. Only then can we love the way God calls us to: the authentic way.