Day 5 in England: Forgiveness

(The corner of the coffee house in the Hope Centre where we held our group)

Today we spoke at a short assembly in Rhyddings School about scars and led a lesson on intelligent design/creation. It was fun to be around the students and hear all their questions about America. Later that day we spoke at and led groups in Hope Church's celebrating hope meeting. These are groups where members share their struggles or how their week is going and what they need prayer for. It was great to see the sense of community developed through it.

      I shared a part of the following lesson that God has been teaching me. There is someone who I've had trouble forgiving in the past. Honestly, there was a point in my life where I truly hated that person. When I got saved I knew God wanted me to forgive them and I thought I had, until He showed me that indifference wasn't forgiveness. I worked on it and thought I finally was at a point where I forgave the person but last month God showed me the status of my heart.

      Recently, that person has come back into my life. They told me they've been hearing from God and that they truly are working to change. In my mind, I was happy, but I kept feeling something different in my heart. I was closed off still. I could tell because I was afraid to believe in the sincerity of this person's words. I found myself holding back.

      I was afraid that if I opened the door to them, then they would take advantage of me. I would find out that they were just being manipulative. Then, God reminded me of Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV): "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'" 

     I felt like it already had been that many times, but God continued to check my heart. I felt Him tell me that unless we forgive others, then they do not have the opportunity to change and start over. That hit me hard because I had been able to change and start over. I was so grateful and in love with God for taking me so far from my past (and still am). I still am in awe of the difference between who I am now and who I was then. I was heart broken when I realized that I wasn't allowing that person to truly start over.

      God wants to do a new thing in us AND in those who've hurt us. It's easy to accept that truth when it applies to people we like, feel sorry for, or who are mere acquaintances, but when it's someone who's wronged us the atmosphere of our heart changes. We "hope" they'll be better, but we don't always care either way as long as they keep their distance. That's not what God wants. He wants us to pray for these people's growth because He wants to make them into a new creation. Second Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" That is God's will for their lives, but we are acting as stumbling blocks to His plan by keeping these people tied to their old selves and who they were in the past. 

      Joseph's brothers show us perfectly the effects of being unable to be freed of their old selves. They had planned to kill Joseph because they were jealous of him. Instead, however, they sold him as a slave to a caravan of Ishmaelite merchants (Genesis 37:26-28). God worked it all out so that years later Joseph became the second most powerful man in Egypt (just under Pharaoh; Genesis 41:39-41). Joseph's brothers feared his power and the possible grudge he may have against them. Joseph reassured them but even years later, when their father died, the men were afraid of Joseph's [potential] backlash. 

      Genesis 50:18 says, "His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. 'We are your slaves,' they said." They were still in the bondage of their past. Because they were in bondage, they were open to slavery. Those men still weren't free from the horrible thing they had done in the past. They felt that the only way to pay for what they'd done was to enslave themselves. They were willing to give up their lives and freedom to try and make up for their sin.

      Now, Joseph was a good man because his heart broke and he began to weep. Many of us would have taken the offer of slavery because we want there to be a price for the pain or discomfort they've caused us. We don't want them to get off easily. But, if God is in the business of setting captives free, how can we be comfortable with taking captives?

      He's already died to cover their sins. When we set our hearts on unforgiveness, we are undermining what Jesus has done. We're saying that it wasn't enough. How could it be enough for you and not for them, though? Even if they haven't come to Jesus yet, there is still hope as long as they're alive.

      Some of you don't want to forgive and you don't even realize that while you have cuffed them in unforgiveness you have also cuffed yourself in with them. You are in bondage to your unforgiveness just as much as (and sometimes moreso) than they are. God wants to set YOU free but you just won't let go and so your life is driven by that bitterness. It has affected your relationships so that you have a difficult time trusting others. It has definitely affected your mental health. You may think about it constantly, causing you stress and anger. Maybe it has gotten bad enough to affect even your physical health. Undoubtedly it has come to affect your spiritual health because here is this idol that you refuse to let go of for God.

      Not only do those captives need to be set free, but you need to be set free as well. Letting go of your unforgiveness doesn't mean that you condone what's been done or that you open yourself up to being hurt again. You can still have boundaries in place to protect yourself, but you leave that person's payment/debt to the Lord. It's time to unlock your cuffs and let yourself go. Stop being imprisoned by your unforgiveness and move on. You'll never be able to get on with your life unless you do.

Pray that God will continue to work in the students and teachers from Rhyddings School; that He's continue to bring healing, growth, and support to the members of Hope Church who took part in the celebrating hope groups; and that He'll unveil any unforgiveness in your health and show you what steps you need to take in order to make things right or free yourself.